Monday, June 11, 2007

Segulas For Shidduchim

Perhaps, the best known segula for fining ones intended match, shidduch, is davening at Amukah, the burial place of Reb Yonason ben Uziel, the tanna and author of Targum Yonasan ben Uziel. Various reasons for davening at Amuka being a segula to find a shidduch have been offered, but from what I've been told, none of them have actual sources - they are assumptions. The best explanation I heard was that, although we might not know the exact reason, it is a Minhag Yisroel and Minhag Yisroel is Torah.


Being that 26 Sivan is the yahrzeit of Reb Yonasan ben Uziel it is a good opportunity to mention some segulas to find a shidduch. The best thing, of course, is tefila - pouring out ones heart to Hashem for their needs – in this case for a shidduch. It's never too early to start. Those with infants, or maybe even from when the child is in the womb, should daven to Hashem, asking that there child should get a good match when the time comes. Don't wait till things get desperate and then turn to Hashem. People make a mistake, thinking they could do things on their own and only when things get tough they turn to Hashem. No matter how good a catch you or your child may be, start davening for a proper match as early as possible.


Having said that, here are some segulas for finding shidduchim, all with sources from great tzadikim:


The first four segulas are from Sefer HaMidos.

1) Say Shiras Hayam (Az Yashir) with kavanah.


2) Kiddush Levana – the hint to this is לבנה is the first letters of ב׳תולה נ׳שאת ל׳יום ה׳רביעי  a maiden gets married on the fourth day. (Note: Kiddush Levana is only said by men)


3) Regularly reading the Korbanos of the Neseim (in Parshas Naso)


4) Through tefila, it is possible to change the match that was announced in Heaven.


5) A segula to find a proper shidduch is to say at the end of Shemonah Esrei, before יהיו לרצון, these two pesukim from Mishleiמָצָא אִשָּׁה מָצָא טוֹב וַיָּפֶק רָצוֹן מֵד׳ (יח,כב) and  בַּיִת וָהוֹן נַחֲלַת אָבוֹת וּמֵד׳ אִשָּׁה מַשְׂכָּלֶת(יט,יד) and after that a tefila to find a good shidduch. (Dor Yeshorim, heard from Reb Avrohom Yehoshua Heschel of Radzin in the name of Reb Gershon Chanoch Henoch of Radzin)


6) Whoever says Tehilim 121 at the end of all the tefilos, before stepping back, will find a good shidduch. Also, ask for mercy for Zivug Elyon, and you will be answered first. (The last statement, according to my understanding is that one should pray for a match for lofty reasons as opposed to materialistic reasons.) (Igra D'Pirka in the name of Asara Mamaros) The source for saying Tehilim 121 is a Medrash that says Yaakov Avinu said this, praying to find his match. The first posuk says "From where will my helper (meaning wife) come?" And the next posuk says "My help will come from Hashem".


7) One who is looking for a shidduch should say the following chapters of Tehilim: 32, 38, 70, 71, 124 (Segulas Yisroel)


8) I have heard that certain tzadikim would instruct people to give 26 dollars (or $2.60 or 26 cents if they don't have the means, 26 is the gematria of yud-kei-vav-kei) to Hachnosas Kallah as a segula. This is also done by women before lighting Shabbos candles every week (could be done in the smaller denominations). (I don't have an exact source, though it seems self explanatory.)


These are just a few segulas - there are many more. If anyone knows of others please mention it in the comments, if possible with the sources.


Anonymous said...

Whoever needs a shidduch or knows someone that does and cant make it to Amukah light a candle or give tzedaka or say a kapiel tehilm liluy nishmas Rabi Yonasan ben Uziel.

yitz.. said...

'Zivug elyon' could also be the best possible zivug as opposed to other intermediary zivugim.. imho

Anonymous said...

one Segula for Shidduch I heard from Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch Shlita. to be extra careful with the Mitzvah of Kibud Av V'eim

Anonymous said...

whatever the source is for Amuka doesn't really matter. Rebi Yonasan ben Uziel was a tanna and that makes it a good place for anyone to go daven. in addition it was once very hard to get to perhaps that was part of the segula

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's written anywhere-but it helped me, boruch Hashem. Buy mezuzahas for someone who needs.

Anonymous said...

another sgullah is to say shir hashirim for forty days straight, or go to the kotel for forty days straight, or say perek shira for forty days straight. i'm currently finishing a forty day round of perek shira and started a forty day round of shir hashirim with 39 other girls, every day one of us goes to the kotel to say it.

Deborah Shaya said...

• There should be NO MEDIATOR between a person’s tefillot and Hashem.

Hashem likes to hear the prayers, tefillot, from our OWN mouths. Even if all we know is how to recite the first 3 letters of the Aleph Bet: Aleph, Bet, Gimmel... Our very own tefillot TO HASHEM, are much more precious than anything else.

By going to the Bet HaChaim (cemetery - incorrectly referred to as “the Ohel” by Lubavitch), and lighting a candle, praying, making a request, and then going home – such a person is “leaving it all to the tzaddik” who is not physically alive. You can’t leave it all “to him!”. This is completely Assur and forbidden.

We too, can be tzaddikim – and be like the tzaddik. The tzaddik has already made all his tefillot to Hashem in his lifetime. And these are very precious to Hashem. The tzaddik has now passed on.

Hashem is now waiting for US – to make our OWN tefillot to Him.
We pray to Hashem – at all times.

If a person is insisting on praying to one of the creations of Hashem, instead of directly to the King Himself, Hashem will say to us, “You are meant to pray to ME!”

Remember that Hashem, our G-d, is a very "JEALOUS G-D" who demands "EXCLUSIVE WORSHIP." (2nd Commandment of the Asseret Hadibrot.)

What is your logic in going there?

The Ashkenazi tradition has encouraged people to do this, and it is very wrong.

Teshuvah to Hashem must be done quickly.

A Talmid said...


I cannot speak for Chabad. No one is allowed to daven TO a tzadik. However, there is a machlokes among the poskim whether one can ask a deceased tzadik to pray for him. many say it is no different than asking a live tzadik to pray for you which the gemara sa in Baba Bastra 116a that one SHOULD go to a Chochom to pray on his behalf if one is sick. The Ein Yaakov and some meforshim say the same goes for any problem.

The Mishna Brura and many others say that one should daven to hashem in the merit of the tzadik. With al due respect to you, most of Klal Yisroel including Sfardim, Chasidim and Litvaks do go tro daven at the graves of tzadikim, some more than others. In Breslover seforim it says that one soiuld remember that they do not need anyone between them and Hashem but they are alowed to ask a tzadik to daven for them also as the gemara I mentioned describes.

Hashem loves the tefilos of tzadikim. The gemara says that's why the Matriarchs were barren, so they would pray. By not asking a tzadik (at least a live one as the gemara says) you are depriving hashem of the pleasure so too speak that he gets from a tzadiks tefila and it could very well be the only reason the person has a problem is so the tzadik will daven. BTW, the gemara in Sotah 14a brought by the Bach and ein Yaakov says that the reason Moshe Rabbeinu's grave is hidden is that the Jews will go there and say "Moshe, daven for us" and this will take us out of golus ahead of time. So this is one proof that one may ask a tzadik to daven for them but the ONLY one that one can daven to is Hashem.

A Talmid said...


I saw your other comments which I chose not to publish. I will judge favorably and assume ignorance rather than brazeness. You seem to assume that you know better than the Ashkanazik Gedolim that included those tefilos that you want to get rid of. You don't just throw out things because you asume they resemble other religions. These practices were around before them.

Also many of the things you mention are usually said by those that don't want the authority of any Rav over them so they say that they can interpret Torah they waythey see fit. All the Gedloei Hadar would disagree with you on most of your points. as far as Breslov, there is no one else that teaches there is no one to rely on but Hashem more than them. However there is a Torah, oral and written that guides us and teaches us. some might say that going to work is not relying on Hashem. That is no worse than getting a brocha from or asking a tzadik to daven for oneself which the gemara says one should do. And the Rambam says that one should attach himsel to Talmidei chachomim. all the best

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for the guy that is saying that you are not allowed to ask s tzadik to daven for you he didn't read the many portions in Torah where Moshe is asked to daven to hashem neither did he read the Zohar that says that a tzadik that passes away is more found in any world than when he was alive hopefully he will be the one doing tshuva as soon as possible